GOING BOSTAL
2. Out on the Town (part a)
It was just getting harder and harder for a hero to make an honest living killing things these days. Darkling had supposed, somewhat optimistically, that the customary Port Bostal 'goblin ear' bounty would still be in effect – after all, the tradition had lasted for generations. The bounty amount itself varied from year to year, depending on the City Council's financial situation and current goblin breeding trends, but it was usually enough to spur parties of foolhardy adventurers on expeditions out into the Goblin Hills, looking to make a handful of quick shillings.
Of course, one thing the Council's prominent advertising campaigns neglected to mention was that one almost never ran into just a few goblins out there. Still, funerals for those killed in the noble defence of Port Bostal were state-funded, and it gave the crematoriums something to do.
Darkling had killed enough goblins in his day to be fairly sure that he and Wolfson would get the better part of the deal in any battle with the creatures, even if substantially outnumbered. That wasn't the problem. Bounty hunting was a dirty, somewhat distasteful business, but that wasn't the problem either.
The problem was pretty much embodied in the shrewish, grey-haired woman sitting behind the elevated podium in the main office of Port Bostal's Centre for the Restriction of Aggressor Populations. As Darkling and Anna stood in the foyer, forced to crane their necks up at her, she stared back down at them with an attitude that could hardly be described as welcoming.
"How may I assist you?" she asked.
"Good morning," Darkling said, politely. "My name is Darkling, and this is Anna."
"We want money," Anna added, helpfully.
"Um... what my companion's trying to say," Darkling amended, "is that we're here to enquire about the goblin ear bounty."
"You have goblin ears to collect on?" the woman asked.
"Well, no," Darkling admitted. "I just wanted to know what the current procedure for claiming the bounty is. I haven't been in Port Bostal for some time now."
"Very well." The woman sighed, as if the two travellers were beneath her – which they were, if you wanted to take it literally. "The current bounty on goblin ears is a shilling apiece. The Centre will only accept the right ears as proof that the goblin in question has been eliminated."
"Why only the right ears?" Anna asked, curiously.
"Well, we certainly wouldn't want adventurers like your master just bringing in the wrong ears," the woman said, her tone frosty. "That wouldn't do at all!"
"Wait a minute," Darkling said, feeling his brow furrow. "Who determines what the 'right' ears are?"
"Our eye and ear specialist, who is well-qualified to make such appraisals," the woman said, smoothly.
"And if your 'specialist' doesn't think they're the right ears?" Darkling asked, with the sinking feeling that he knew where this was going.
"Then the bounty will not be paid."
"That sucks!" Anna opined.
The woman just leaned forward to gaze coldly at Anna, her sharp features cast into shadow by the light streaming in through the tiny windows. Anna's brown eyes widened, and she shrank back a little, daunted.
"It does suck!" Darkling barked, stepping in front of Anna to intercept the woman's harsh glare. "Going by that procedure, you could conceivably not pay out a single bounty for weeks on end!"
"Indeed." The woman settled back in her chair, looking down her nose at them. "That has been the case so far. The Council does not expect to be in a position to start honouring bounties again until the end of the fiscal year."
Darkling laughed. "How many idiots do you expect to walk in here asking about the bounty, then?"
She just arched an eyebrow at him. "You did, didn't you?"
"But I don't have any ears for you," Darkling said, pettishly.
"Yes, but most adventurers collect the ears first and then turn up here at the Centre," the woman informed him. "And even then, they often come back numerous times in the hope that they have finally found the 'right' ears. It's heroes like you who think too much who cause the Centre problems. Fortunately, thinking is not a common pastime amongst your kind."
"Come on, Anna," Darkling snapped, turning on his heel and stalking towards the door. But Anna was just staring up at the woman again, curiously.
"So... what do you do with all those goblin ears, anyway?" she asked. "They can't be much good for anything?"
"We sell them to a local inn. The cook there has a dinner special that she calls Goblin Ear Stew."
Darkling blinked, suddenly feeling queasy. "That... that wouldn't be The Salty Dogbiscuit, would it?"
"I believe that is the establishment's name, yes."
"Gross!" Anna blurted. "I saw someone eating that last night!"
"I... I thought it was just a colourful metaphor," Darkling said, devoutly wishing his stomach would settle. "I'm glad I didn't try it. I... don't think it would have agreed with me, somehow."
"Well, yes, the Centre has always maintained that goblin food is bad for the digestion," the woman agreed. "Good day."
"Well, that was a bust," Darkling muttered, dismally, as he and Anna stepped back out into the sunlight.
"Her boobs didn't look that big to me," Anna said, looking up at him curiously.
"No, no," Darkling said, tiredly. "I just mean we've been chasing around the city all morning and we still haven't found any work."
"Oukami-sama and Kana-chan will have made lots of money by now," Anna said, confidently. "You heard them practising, Kurai-sama. They were good, weren't they?"
Darkling sighed, shading his eyes with his hand and looking out over the Slave Plaza. He turned and started leading the way up the street, taking them on a path that would keep them well clear of the slave pens and the blocks. "They were very good, Anna-chan," he agreed. "Let's go find them now and see how they've done, shall we?"
Anna jumped with glee. "Hai, Kurai-sama!"
It was late morning, and the streets of Port Bostal were thriving with life: idle sailors on shore leave; slave gangs hauling cargo and provisions; merchandise-laden wagons clogging the thoroughfares on their way in or out of the city; and tradespeople going about their daily business. It was all fairly innocuous and aboveboard, in sharp contrast to Post Bostal's nightlife.
By night, the streets turned decidedly less amenable, no matter which part of the city you were in. Port Bostal had more than its fair share of crime – committed by members of the corruption-rife militia almost as often as actual malefactors. Unsavoury types lurked in the shadows on practically every corner, looking to provide whatever illicit pleasure you could desire, provided you had enough coin.
Being a cosmopolitan port city didn't just mean that Port Bostal benefited from positive cultural influences like bishoujo games and AV idols... though Darkling wasn't entirely sure that some people would count those as benefits, anyway. More like barely tolerated vices. No, there was a darker side to Port Bostal's multiculturalism. There were more intoxicants and mind-altering drugs to be had here than could be imagined, imported from all corners of the world. There were slaves of all sexes, races and ages available too, though perhaps not as wide a range as in the vast slave markets Darkling had heard of in the kingdoms far to the east. Still, the black market for 'special interest' slaves was thriving in the west, with almost unthinkable amounts of money being tossed around all the time.
It made Darkling uneasy to see the amount of attention Anna drew as she skipped ahead of him. Somehow, it didn't feel right to him to have her on a leash – she wasn't his slave, after all; she was Wolfson's. And so Anna revelled in the unaccustomed freedom, bounding curiously from shop windows to roadside stalls to sewage drains like an enthusiastic puppy. But she always came back to his side before long, happily telling him about all the things she'd seen, before darting off again on another little round of exploration.
It was almost noon by the time they finally reached Market Square. Though slightly less crowded than the Slave Plaza – and thankfully free of the auctioneers' monotonous chants – it was still noisy and well-populated, as native Bostals wandered through the open-air stalls, inspecting the goods on offer. And the array of merchandise on show was just bewildering. Jewellery, plush toys, household tools, saddlebags, fruit and vegetables, exotic songbirds and home-made cosplay outfits were just the beginning. Darkling had to keep a close eye on Anna as she wandered back and forth amidst the swell of people.
"Stay close, Anna-chan!" he warned her, as she came running back to him from a fruit stall.
"Kurai-sama!" she gasped, breathlessly. "They have apricots! Did I tell you how much I love apricots? We used to have them all the time when I was growing up. My parents were merchants, you know. They could get everything. Old Tobias was the local importer, and he would get so mad with them because they always undercut his prices! Oh, look! Kurai-sama! Look at these! Aren't they pretty?" She darted over to a stall where a middle-aged merchant with grizzled hair was selling hair accessories. "I've wanted a pair of new hairclips for a long time now, Kurai-sama. What do you think of these ones, with the flowers? Do you think Oukami-sama would like them? They're pretty, aren't they? I wonder how much they cost? If Oukami-sama and Kana-chan have earned enough money, do you think he'd buy them for me? Tell me, do you think my hair's too long? When we were working on Casual Romance Club, we had our own personal stylist, you know. She'd come in every day and make sure our hair was all pretty. Nanase-chan had the hardest time of it. It was really hard for her to—"
"Anna-chan?" Darkling asked, tiredly.
"Hai, Kurai-sama?" she asked.
"Don't you ever... shut up?"
She blinked up at him, wide-eyed. "No, Kurai-sama."
Darkling sighed. "That's what I thought."
Anna just looked at him for a second. Then she opened her mouth. "And did you see that middle school uniform that the pretty lady with the nose ring was selling over there? That's one thing that's always bugged me, Kurai-sama – why do sailors dress like middle school girls? You'd think they'd want to be taken more seriously than that."
"It's the other way around, Anna-chan," Darkling said, grabbing her hand to stop her from running off again as he craned his neck, trying to see through the crowd. It was useless, though – westerners were fairly tall, and Darkling was a good head shorter than most of them.
"You mean they do get taken seriously for dressing like teenage girls?" Anna asked, bewildered. "Is it some kind of initiation ritual? Do they wear panties, too?"
"I... I have no idea," Darkling said, helplessly. "Maybe. You'd have to ask..."
There. Through the relentless murmur of the crowd, he could hear a man's voice singing, though he couldn't make out the words. Holding Anna's hand tight, he dragged her in what he hoped was the right direction.
"Maybe we could go down to the Docks later and ask some sailors if they're wearing panties?" Anna suggested, panting slightly as Darkling wove deftly through the crowd, pulling her behind him.
"That's... a possibility, I suppose," Darkling said, pausing as his navigation brought them to the edge of the crowd. He'd found them.
Standing in the shadow of a once-proud, but now rather dilapidated, civic building, Wolfson and Kana were performing to a small crowd of appreciative onlookers. The earthenware bowl on the ground at their feet was filled with coins. Obviously, their morning had been more rewarding than Darkling and Anna's.
"Oukami-sa—!" Anna started, gleefully, before Darkling clapped his hand over her mouth and dragged her back, out of the way. Now that they were closer, he could make out Wolfson's pleasant tenor, with Kana's voice interweaving delicately behind it:
"If I had a Wishing Ring, my second wish would be
that I had a horse with wings to fly you there to me,
and together we would stay in my castle by the sea—
and happy ever after we would be."
"Kurai-sama!" Anna protested, squirming against Darkling's grip. "What are you—"
"Shhh," Darkling said. "They haven't seen us yet, and I want to hear this song first."
Anna twisted her head to look up at him, puzzled. "But why don't you—"
"Just one song," he requested, softly.
"All... all right," she grumbled.
Wolfson was playing the crowd, while Kana just stood close by, keeping her eyes on the ground. Their harmonies were a lot tighter now – better than the previous day's rehearsals, at any rate. Kana seemed to have been learning on the job, so to speak.
"Like a knight in shining armour,
and you're my lady fair.
Sitting by the fireplace
without any cares.
In my castle I'd be King,
but you would be my Queen—
and, oh, the songs we would sing..."
There were several slender young women in the audience, giggling quietly as Wolfson's gaze slipped across their comely faces and lingered on each girl's eyes for just a single moment, as lightly as a caress. One of them in particular, a black-haired girl of eastern extraction, turned bright red when it was her turn to be favoured with Wolfson's glance. Wolfson just smiled, turning back to Kana. As if on cue, she looked up at him, wistful longing tingeing her expression – and now it seemed she wasn't just singing with him.
She was singing to him.
"If I had a Wishing Ring, my final wish would be
that you would know just how much you mean to me,
and you would take the heart that I'd like to give to you—
and you would say to me, 'I love you, too.'"
The female audience members sighed almost as one as Wolfson and Kana's voices soared high in unison, Kana's violet eyes looking up at Wolfson shyly as Wolfson gazed back down at her with fond, lingering dedication in his expression.
"And you would say to me, 'I love you, too.'"
Applause broke out as Wolfson and Kana finished the song. Kana blinked, blushing slightly as she and Wolfson disengaged from each other. Coins tinkled into the bowl, mostly thrown by appreciative female members of the audience, though there were a couple of awed teenage boys who crept closer to add their contribution, mostly to get a closer look at Kana.
Nudged by her friends, the pretty eastern girl stumbled forward to say something inaudible to Wolfson, who just smiled gallantly and nodded his thanks. Clutching her hands in front of her, hunching her shoulders a little, she just peered up at him, looking somewhat starstruck as she continued the conversation.
By that stage, Darkling couldn't hold Anna back anymore. She'd already started wriggling restlessly when Wolfson played to the audience, but the sight of the black-haired girl talking to Wolfson had obviously set off warning bells in her head. Before Darkling could stop her, she'd wrenched herself from his grip and was pelting across to Wolfson, interposing herself between her master and his newfound admirer.
"Oukami-sama!" she enthused, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaping up to kiss his lips. "You were so cool!"
"Ch–Chiisai-chan," Wolfson said, looking at her in surprise as the pretty eastern girl blushed, bowed to no-one in particular, and ran away. "What... when did you get here?"
"Just now!" Anna said, brightly, still clinging to his neck. "You were really good, Oukami-sama! You and Kana-chan. Kurai-sama thought so too!"
"K–Kurai-sama?" Kana asked, sounding alarmed, as her violet eyes swept the crowd anxiously. "He's... he's here too?"
"Yep, I'm here, Kana," Darkling said, walking across to join them. "I enjoyed your performance."
"H–hai," she mumbled, lowering her eyes. "Thank... you."
"It was Kana's idea to make a little role-play out of it," Wolfson said, as Anna dropped back to the ground. "To be honest, business started picking up after she came up with that little gem. Especially among the, er... female patrons," he concluded, looking down at Anna's somewhat indignant expression.
"You're done for now, aren't you, Oukami-sama?" she asked, waving her hand down at the bowl. "That's enough for now, isn't it? I'm hungry! And I... I don't like other girls looking at you!"
"It's part of the job, Chiisai-chan," Wolfson said, soothingly, as she threw herself into his arms.
"Well, then, can't you make it your job to just make them like you?" Anna asked, tearfully. "That... that girl with the black hair wasn't just after your autograph!"
"Chiisai-chan..." he murmured, comfortingly, as he stroked her hair.
"Let's go back to the inn, Oukami-sama," Anna sniffed, her voice still muffled by his black doublet.
"Okay, Chiisai-chan," Wolfson said, extricating himself from her arms with some difficulty and leaning down to pick up the contributions bowl. "Thank you for this morning, Kana. Let's do it again sometime."
"Um... hai, Oukami-sama," Kana said, softly, with an anxious look at Darkling.
Next: An afternoon's diversion